Destiny’s little one, outlier, everyman: the numerous shades of P.R. Sreejesh

Star. Veteran. Prankster. Fun. Crowd favorite. Team man. Brother. Life of the get together. Legend.

These and different such epithets have been used, usually, for a 36-year-old whose identify will without end be related to the Indian males’s hockey crew breaking the voodoo, eradicating the shackles and throwing off the albatross of a 40-year medal drought on the Olympics. The irony of six seconds defining a 22-year-long profession, with its fair proportion of ecstasy and agony, isn’t misplaced on P.R. Sreejesh.

“That’s just how life is, isn’t it? I have made better saves, played better games, won tougher matches and yet, my hockey career is, in a way, all about those six seconds in Tokyo. And the funny thing is, it shouldn’t even have been that way, we were definitely the better side on that day and should have won easily. And then I would have been just one in a team of 16. I still am, but that final save brought me front and centre. Makes you believe all the more in destiny, right,” he says with a shrug, settling down for a relaxed chat simply earlier than leaving for Paris.

Destiny. The phrase has been intricately entwined with the person from Kizhakkambalam village, Ernakulam, in Kerala. How else do you clarify the lanky teen transferring to the G.V. Raja Sports School in Thiruvananthapuram on the age of 12, removed from his household regardless of by no means having been separated even for a couple of hours till then? Or being suggested, and agreeing, to check out hockey goalkeeping though that’s one occasion his State, a sporting powerhouse, by no means recognized with? Or getting chosen for junior nationwide camps just because he managed to impress on the faculty stage as a result of the remainder of his crew was too weak to problem the stronger States and the goalkeeper occurred to be the busiest participant on the sphere?

The man behind the masks

Athletes are speculated to be all about their efficiency on the sphere, changing into idols to multitudes for his or her achievements. Yet, it’s the particular person off the sphere that usually shapes and defines characters and sporting careers. Sreejesh, all the time prepared with a smile and a selfie with followers, has managed to lock his struggles away from the highlight. This time, he makes an exception, opening a tiny window into himself when requested why he needs to go to a fourth Olympics.

“When I first came into the national camp — the humiliation I faced, the rock bottom I hit on and off the turf — all that is like a fire inside that has never allowed me to sleep peacefully. That constant burning is the only thing that has pushed me hard every day, to keep getting better. Because after winning the bronze, I realised we are capable of doing better. A player gets satisfied once he achieves something but I think I haven’t got what I really want. I feel if we had only given that one percentage extra, we could have had a different medal. And that’s why I’m here. It’s one last chance for me to change that colour,” he explains.

It’s a uncommon perception into a person identified for his sense of humour. Sreejesh has usually spoken about his preliminary struggles, his lack of sources and the linguistic barrier, his hesitation to step up amidst stronger, extra assured children even within the nationwide camp as a junior. What he hasn’t revealed is how a lot these early days proceed to be part of his current and drive his starvation for achievement. He says he’s prepared, now, to open the floodgates.

“My first camp was in 2002, now it’s 2024 and nothing ever got here simple. Tokyo didn’t occur in a single day. I used to be a standby on the junior stage, I sat on the bench because the second goalkeeper. Then I lastly received an opportunity to play within the first 11. Then I received chosen to the senior squad and I used to be a standby there. Then I went as much as being the second goalkeeper. Then I received the principle goalkeeper alternative after a number of years.

“The hard work, the dedication, the humiliation, the sacrifices — not only me, my parents, my family. All that forces me to stay greedy because it’s not about me. It’s my parents, my kids. When they used to say you are never there with us. But now, when they see me winning medals, standing on the podium, they realise their daddy’s achieving something special, he’s doing something different from the normal fathers around them,” he reveals.

Watching, studying, rising

There can also be an acknowledgement of realizing what you do and, extra importantly, what you don’t, and the significance of biding your time. “You know, individuals say it’s robust to heat the bench however for me, it was not. The hardest interval for me was after I grew to become the principle goalkeeper within the crew. Because I all the time knew the place I stood.

“I ended up within the nationwide under-16 camp as a result of I performed the junior nationals and in Kerala, 65 of the 70 minutes the ball’s in your circle and also you simply maintain saving and other people really feel the goalkeeper is nice. At the camp my gear was not good, I wore ragged garments, I all the time stood on the again.

“I used to be fortunate to have Adrian [D’Souza] by my facet, he performed the 2004 Olympics and got here again to the junior crew. He was very good and for me a job mannequin and I began copying him in every little thing. One nice day he merely mentioned, ‘Sree, if you copy me, you will become the next Adrian, you will never become Sreejesh P.R. You have to develop your own style.’ And that was my first massive lesson, to be myself.

“In 2008, after I got here to the senior camp, India had three top-class goalkeepers — Baljit Singh, Bharat Chhetri and Adrian — so I knew there was no place for me then. And so once more I waited and I learnt from three of them, three completely different types. I knew I wanted to study. And when Jose Brasa gave me an opportunity, I used that chance.

“Then in 2012, there was big drama because the entire world was taking only one goalkeeper to London but Michael Nobbs chose to take two, giving me my first Olympic outing. Chhetri dropped out after that, I became the No. 1 goalkeeper and there was nobody to push me and that was my first big challenge. All my life, I sat outside, watched and learnt. But then I was told, a goalkeeper can decide the outcome of a match and I feel we should not lose because of me. That has stayed with me always,” he explains.

The psychological challenges

The happy-go-lucky persona additionally hides the a number of battles he has fought, bodily and mentally, even after changing into the nation’s No. 1 goalkeeper. There have been instances he has come near quitting, unable and unwilling to deal with the failures, racked with guilt each time the crew misplaced.

“I maintain difficult myself. I do not know of the variety of damaged bones in my physique, lots of them completely deformed. My damage in 2017 [at Azlan Shah] was the massive one, I used to be out for nearly eight months after surgical procedure and the children — Akash Chikte and Suraj Karkera — had been doing good, [Krishan] Pathak was coming into the scene. That was the primary time I considered retirement, however I needed to put on that India jersey simply as soon as extra. And that drove me.

“But 2018 was not good. I used to be the most effective goalkeeper on the Asian Games however we couldn’t get into the ultimate and misplaced within the quarterfinals on the World Cup, my father went via coronary heart surgical procedure and there was plenty of drama occurring. I spoke to plenty of seniors and I used to be considering of retiring from worldwide hockey due to the stress. I wouldn’t say it was melancholy — extra like taking all of the blame and having an excessive amount of guilt for every little thing going unsuitable.

“There were people who suggested I was letting my team down. That time was really bad and my family sensed I didn’t want to do that anymore. And then we got a two-month break, I spent time at home, blocked everything and everyone else. That helped me decide to give it one more try,” he pours out.

To hear a livewire like him speak about melancholy and guilt — one thing most Indians are nonetheless cautious of admitting — is revealing. He has discovered power and tranquility in his books — he proudly declares that each time the crew flies, he pays for further baggage due to all of the books he all the time carries. But there have been these, too, who stood by him in these instances. And Sreejesh is grateful to them, amongst them former Dutch goalkeeper Jaap Stockmann, whom he calls his ‘guardian angel’.

At ease with himself: Sreejesh is as snug in a go well with on the purple carpet as he’s in a mundu strolling barefoot via his farms. | Photo credit score: Getty Images

“At Tokyo, I used to be texting him each time, ‘I need your help’. At Rio, we had misplaced within the quarters so I needed to know the right way to maintain myself up. Semifinals was actually new to me after which the bronze medal match was a fully new factor. I saved asking him, ‘What should I do? What do I focus on?’ He all the time jogs my memory, ‘It’s your sport. Don’t fear, don’t overthink, simply concentrate on fundamentals, don’t consider adverse discuss whenever you concede.

“You know, we goalkeepers have a psychological block different from others because the guilt we feel after conceding, especially in a lost match, is huge. We sit separately, think differently and keep assuming that the rest of the team is always talking about our mistakes. But he forced me to sit and talk to others, be a part of the team. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that I took his experience with me to Tokyo. And even after that, I was thinking of giving up when he messaged, ‘Why? Has anyone told you to? Has the federation or the coach said you are not fit enough? How will you know until you try?’ I think that one message has kept pushing me until now.”

The previous, nonetheless, isn’t too removed from the floor and it comes up each time he talks about his household — his mother and father who know nothing about hockey however by no means had second ideas over doing what made their son completely happy; his children who would sleep within the automobile each night time earlier than he needed to go away for an additional camp to attempt to maintain him, leaving him heartbroken to maneuver them gently; and his spouse, who has managed to maintain all of it collectively, permitting him to concentrate on the sport.

“We speak about it each time. How my father received me a brand new passport in sooner or later for my first camp. The journey to my first faculty, how I cried there, how I joined hockey and have become goalkeeper, how I received my first sport, performed the nationals, received into the nationwide camp and was made enjoyable of due to my hand-stitched jersey and pads and complained to my mother and father who bought our cow to get me a brand new equipment. I received my first India jersey in 2004 and the way we saved taking a look at it, my father wore it, my brother wore it.

“How they came to see me in Delhi during the 2010 World Cup but by the time they came, I was injured. My mother remembers how, as farmers, we never had to skip a meal but in monetary terms, we struggled to get even ₹10. And now, when I look back at all this, we have a laugh at it all. But I don’t regret anything. If you ask me whether I want to change anything in my past, no I don’t — not the injuries, not the downfall, not the matches we lost at London 2012. Because everything taught me something, helped me to be what I am today.”

What he’s, is a legend in a sport that’s nonetheless largely non-existent in his dwelling State. An icon who right this moment proudly lives in a home that stands on a highway that bears his personal identify — Olympian P.R. Sreejesh Road. A testomony to his development into somebody who, from not realizing something apart from Malayalam, can now converse in a number of languages and is as snug chairing the FIH Athletes’ Committee and flaunting the largest of manufacturers as he’s in a mundu strolling barefoot via his farms.

When greed is sweet

The years have additionally given him the boldness to declare what each profitable sportsperson believes however, a minimum of in India, wraps up in a coat of humility — athletes are egocentric individuals. “Oh yes, I am a very selfish, greedy player. Every athlete is, it’s just that the greed is different for different people. We hockey players are not rich in terms of bank balance. We are rich with our performances, the medals which we get. It’s not the luxury that tempts us, or the rewards that come after winning medals. It’s the respect you get when people come up to you and say you inspire them, the pride you feel when somebody asks you what you do and you tell them, you play hockey for the country, you are an Olympic medallist. That I want more all the time,” he declares.

So, what occurs if that elusive medal doesn’t come at Paris? Will he maintain pushing his physique and thoughts, give in to his greed, though he has declared the tip of his worldwide journey, this time for actual? “There will always be the next tournament, the ACT, then the Pro League, the HIL, then next season. No. I’m done.”